Understanding Child Development Stages - Montessori Age 0 - 3

It is essential that parents understand basic child development concepts so they may better guide children appropriately. Our role is to keenly observe them and try our best to offer an environment that supports their growth.

Here are a few excellent video links -

Infants - One Year http://michaelolaf.net/BirthYearOne.html

Year 1 - 3 Stage http://michaelolaf.net/BirthOneToThree.html

Enjoy!

Stages of Development

Three Stages of Life

Islam has divided the upbringing of a child into three stages from birth to age 21. The division is based on the following hadith of the Prophet (s.a.w.): “The child is the master for seven years; and a slave for seven years and a vizier for seven years; so if he grows into a good character within 21 years, well and good; otherwise leave him alone because you have discharged your responsibility before Allah.”

The same hadith has been explained: “Let your child play upto seven years; and keep him with you (for education and training) for another seven years; then if he succeeds
(well and good); otherwise, there is no good in him.”

The First Stage: from birth to age seven

 

As the first stage is a care-free period, the child is to be considered  as “master” of the parents. The Prophet said, “The child is the master for seven years.” This is the age of being a child and playing; he or she is not yet fully ready for education through formal instruction.

What has been said above, however, does not mean that a child cannot grasp or understand
anything; not at all. The child is constantly influenced by the atmosphere in which he lives; he/she learns by observation and imitation; therefore, it is absolutely necessary for the parents to provide good examples by their own behaviour. The Prophet said, “Respect your children and teach them good
behaviour, Allah will forgive (your sins).

Although the child is not ready for formal instructions, religious issues —very basic and simple— should be introduced to them gradually. “Graduality” is the most important point to remember at this stage of life. The following hadith is very significant to understand what is meant by gradually:

“When the child reaches 3 years of age, teach him seven times to recite la ilaha il-lal lāh.

Then leave him at that till he is 3 years, 7 months and 20 days old; then train him to say Muhammadun rasu-lul lāh.

Then leave him at that till he completes 4 years, then teach him seven times to say sal-lal
lāhu `ala Muhammadin wa āli Muhammad.

Then leave him at that till he reaches the age of 5 years; then see if he can distinguish between the right and the left hand. When he knows the difference, then make him face qiblah and tell him to do sajdah.

This is to continue till he is 6 years of age. Then he should be told to pray and taught
ruku` and sajdah.

When he completes 7 years, then he should be asked to wash his face and hands, and then told to pray.

This will continue till he reaches the age of 9 years, when he should be taught proper ritual ablution for prayer and proper salāt

The Second Stage: from age eight to fourteen

This is the age when the child's mind can grasp logical reasoning and is developed for formal
education—it is very important that the child not only be educated but, at the same time, he or she should be raised with proper Islamic ethics. The Prophet emphasized that at this age the parents should be strict in disciplining their children.

In the sayings of the Prophet (s.a.w.), three things have been emphasized for the male children in the second stage of upbringing: 1. literacy for secular knowledge; 2. religious knowledge and  3. physical
education. For example, the Prophet (s.a.w.) said, “It is the right of the male child on his father to...teach him the Book of Allah...and riding and swimming.” Girls require similar lessons.

Religious education is very crucial at this stage so that the child's religious beliefs are based on sound reasoning and firm foundation. Make haste in teaching your youngsters hadith before they are approached and  misguided.

Literacy, and seeking of secular and religious knowledge has been equally emphasized for the
girls in our ahadith. However, instead of physical education, the ahadith talk about those specific subjects which would help the girls in becoming good wives and educated mothers. The destiny of the future generations of the ummah, after all, depends on the mothers who are learned, informed, and aware of their role in establishing a society which is always conscious of Allah's presence.

The Third Stage: from age fifteen to twenty-one.

The Prophet described this stage of  upbringing as follows: “The child...is an adviser for [the next] seven years.” At the age of fourteen, fifteen and up, a Muslim child is expected to have become a responsible teenager. Therefore, the Prophet says that the parents should now treat him or her more like a ‘friend’.

 

At this stage, the parents should guide and help their teenage child in make correct decisions
for themselves. In mid- and late-teens, the child may start the specific training or education for the career that he/she intends to pursue.. It is also the time when the child is nearing the age of marriage.

At the age of twentyone, the parents’ responsibility towards their children comes to an end.
If anyone brings up his children based on Islamic values, that child surely will  be the apple of the parents' eyes and the delight of their hearts; and it is this child who, in his turn, may be hoped to fulfil his obligations towards his parents.

The Prophet said, “A virtuous child is a flower from the flowers of Paradise.” He also said, “Among the good fortunes of a man is the virtuous child.”

This
lesson is based on  Allamah Rizvi's

book The Family Life of Isam

Februrary Enrichment - Verses, Stories & Art

How do you introduce your child to the best role model for humanity?

The literal meaning of Muhammad (pbuh) is 'the praised one'. His life is highlighted by his sublime character and noble manners. The world of Muhammad, was a world of idolatry, a world in which women and slaves had no rights whatsoever, a world in which men would cheat each other for a few coins. However, Muhammad was not like those around him. 

Prophet Mohammed himself was a very kind and loving person. Prophet Mohammed  treated every one, young and old, with respect and kindness, because Prophet Mohammed was spreading the word of Allah (God) to remind people of the Good.His honesty surpassed that of all others and he was known with the title of 'Al-Amin' (The trustworthy). In fact it was this quality of honesty which attracted so many people to his noble message. 

Verse -
Lyrics and translation

طلع البدر علينا
Oh the white moon rose over us

من ثنيات الوداع
From the valley of Wada

وجب الشكر علينا
And we owe it to show gratefulness

ما دعى لله داع
Where the call is to Allah

أيها المبعوث فينا
Oh you who were raised among us


جئت بالأمر
المطاع
Coming with a word to be obeyed

جئت شرفت
المدينة
You have brought to this city nobleness

مرحبا يا خير
داع
Welcome best caller to God's way

Booklets -
The five duties are faith, prayer, almsgiving, fasting, and pilgrimage to Makkah (Mecca). You may choose to create a small booklet to review our duties as Muslims. The children can make their own booklets with colored paper, clip art, crayons, water color........

As Peace Maker-
In 605 CE the Kaabah was accidentally burnt down and a massive reconstruction programme had to be initiated. Many people were involved in it's rebuilding. However, upon its completion, the issue of replacing the black stone in its original place, the south east corner of the Kaabah, arose. Each of the major tribes and clans wanted the honor of placing the black stone in its proper place. Civil war loomed over the Arabian peninsula. It was then suggested by one of the elders of Makkah, that the way to settle this dispute was to let the first person to come through the gate the next morning, decide the fate of the matter. Lo and behold the first man to enter next morning was indeed Muhammed. Upon seeing him some of the Arabs exclaimed with joy, "here is the trustworthy one, we shall agree to his decision - he is Muhammed". Muhammed asked for a cloak to be brought to him and to have the black stone placed in the middle of it. He then asked the elders of each of the major tribes to lift up the cloak from each of the corners. The elders did as they were instructed and took the black stone over to the south east corner. Muhammed then took the stone and placed it firmly in its resting place.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Stone

Angel Gabriel's Visit to Mohammad-
 In 610 CE that the prophet Muhammad received the first revelation. It was the practice of Muhammad that he would often go up to the cave of Hira to meditate and pray to Allah alone. One night during the month of Ramadaan (month of fasting) while he was meditating, an angel appeared before him. This was the angel Gabriel, the very same angel who had brought down revelation to the earlier prophets of Allah such as Jesus and Moses. ln a thundering voice the angel commanded him "READ" . "I cannot read", replied Muhammad honestly. The angel grabbed hold of him and squeezed him so hard.. "READ", the angel commanded again. Muhammad's reply was the same. So the angel squeezed him again and again, each time harder than the previous, and Muhammed replied the same, each time thinking that he would be overwhelmed. The angel then released him and spoke the words which would be remembered as the first words of the final revelation to mankind:
"Read in the name of you Lord, Who Created. Who Created man out of a clot of blood. Read, and your Lord is the Most Bountiful. It is He who has taught man the use of the pen. Taught man that which he did not know."

Quran 96:1-5
 (Angel & Mountain meditation art)

Beautiful Character-
The generosity of Muhammed was so great that one of his companions described his huge generosity as being like ". . . the blowing wind"
Also, "Indeed in the messenger of Allah you have the most beautiful pattern of conduct for him who hopes in Allah and the last day, and remembers Allah much"
Quran 33:21

Kindness to Animals -
During a journey, somebody picked up some birds eggs. The bird's painful note and fluttering attracted the attention of the Prophet, who asked the man to replace the eggs. He stated, "Verily, there is heavenly reward for every act of kindness done to a living animal."

Simple Life-
Once a few of his disciples, noticing the imprint of his mattress on his body, wished to give him a softer bed but he politely declined the offer saying, "What have I to do with worldly things. My connection with the world is like that of a traveler resting for a while underneath the shade of a tree and then moving on."

He always joined in household work and would at times mend his clothes, repair his shoes and sweep the floor. He would milk, tether, and feed his animals and do the household shopping.

A Mercy to Mankind-
He stated,
"Do you love your Creator? Then love your fellow beings first."

"0' prophet. Verily We have sent you as a witness and a bearer of glad tidings and a warner, and as one who invites to Allah by His Permission, and as a lamp spreading light"
Quran 33: 45-46

http://www.americasmuslimfamily.com/hullabaloo/fanoos/fanoos.html
http://www.crayola.com/calendar/detail.cfm?event_id=208&year=2005
http://sakkal.com/CalligContents.html

Note: Islamic Art- Islamic art has focused on the depiction of patterns and Arabic calligraphy, Geometrical floral or vegetal designs in a repetition known as the arabesque. The arabesque in Islamic art is often used to symbolize the transcendent, indivisible and infinite nature of God. Mistakes in repetitions may be intentionally introduced as a show of humility by artists who believes only God can produce perfection ( i.e. woven into carpets).

Steady Days

Salam Alaikum, Here are some wonderful resources to help you organize your days & focus on what is important. You may choose to replace the Bible verses with Quran or Hadith.

Enjoy!

http://www.steadydays.com/resources.html

Joyful Homemaking

Support, encouragement, practical

suggestions for keeping a Muslim home.

Your work, your life as a homemaker and being a keeper of an Islamic home is precious work. The lady of the house has a high value and dignified role. Your contribution is acknowledged and appreciated. Your heartfelt contribution is a gift to the family. Be
steadfast in your commitment to improve and be strengthened in your role as the
wife: helper to your husband, the keeper of the home, the mother of children and the light and joy of the family. Be an excellent homemaker. You're worth it. Your family is worth it!  Do good things daily...

Becoming Seekers of Knowledge

Education is a continuous process and goes on till the last breath of a person. The religion of Islam has exhorted its followers to pursue the path of learning from the cradle to the grave.

The Prophet of Islam (pbuh) has said: "Searching for knowledge is the duty of every Muslim. Allah likes the seekers of knowledge." 

Prophet Luqman (pbuh) advised his son: "Spare some time in the day and night for reading and acquiring knowledge. If you stop reading, your knowledge will dissipate." 

Similarly, the Prophet has said: "Searching for knowledge is the duty of every Muslim man and every Muslim woman."

The tradition of the Holy Prophet was that a child play for seven years, study for seven years, and for another seven years learn about what is permissible (Halal) and impermissible (Haram).

Our role as parents is to cultivate habits of reading good books and of becoming seekers of knowledge. The atmosphere in our homes should be one of joyful learning. We model for our children actions to develop the habit of reading. We do this by visiting the library regularly, discussing what we have read and making connections between our values and our daily actions.

For example, when studying the environment, we should exploration of the responsibilities that humans were given by our Lord. "Behold thy Lord said to the angels: 'I will create a vicegerent on earth." Quran (2:30) We might contemplate our responsibility as khalifah to take care of the earth while they have direct experience with the complicated challenges associated with stewardship and ecological restoration. Families could participate in restoration projects and research. We can also help cultivate a greater appreciation by spending time in nature, learning about animals, plants, nature journaling, etc.

In the beginning, parents should read aloud small and interesting stories and fables to make the child interested in
books. Children enjoy books with lots of color pictures and illustrations. Every day, parents or older siblings should read to the
younger ones. The illustrations should be explained to the children. Then the child should be asked to recount the story and explain the meaning of the illustrations. Older children can then write a few lines to summarize what they remember and draw a picture related to the topic. 

 A few tips from Islamic Scholar Ibrahim Amini:

1.     Children like fables and understand their contents well. Therefore,
it is useful if the material provided to them on any subject is in the form of
stories.

2.     Every child will have an individual personality, so the capability
and tastes too will differ from person to person. There will be changes in the
tastes of a person with advancements in years – therefore, the parents must
first try to figure out the taste and capability of their child and then bring
suitable books. Difficult and boring books must not be thrust upon the child, as
this might have a negative impact on the child's reading habits.

3.     Since the child is in the process of developing a personality, and
the books can have a deep impact on this process, care must be exercised to see
that books with appropriate contents are chosen. Parents should first read the
books themselves, and then decide about their suitability for the child's
reading. The child should not read any undesirable matter that might have a
negative impact on such an impressionable mind – after getting into the habit of
reading such literature, it would be difficult to wean the child out of
it.

4.     The habit of reading is not just a pastime. The main purpose of
reading is to acquire knowledge and understand the contents of the books,
deriving advantage from them. It is not very important how many books the child
reads, but the important thing is how the books have been read. Is the child
just making a cursory rapid reading? Has he/she read a book with absorbed
interest and understood its contents? The parents should give full attention to
these aspects. Occasionally, after asking the child to give the gist of a book
that he/she read, the parents should derive a conclusion of whether or not the
child has understood the contents correctly. If the understanding is skewed,
they should correct the child.

5..     Children generally like books with imaginary stories. Some
intellectuals encourage reading of such books. They feel that such books will
promote the imaginative faculties of the child. But the author feels that the
reading of imaginary and fictitious stories can promote the habit of lying. The
reader's mind will become the storehouse of false thoughts, and when upon
growing up, the child might resort to falsities to fulfill his/her needs and
wishes.

6.     It is true that a child prefers to read stories than other reading
matter. But care must be taken that a carefully selected mix of books on various
subjects is given and not just storybooks. The child must steadily develop
interests in reading and understanding the intricate subject matter of serious
literature.

7.     It is not true that children are fond of only fictitious stories.
They will definitely show a keen interest in reading the stories of great
personalities, their lives and achievements. They can aim to model their own
lives on the lives of the great personages they read about.

For More Book Info Please Visit
http://muslimkidsbooks.wordpress.com/

Abode of Tranquility

In Al Nahl (Sura 16) in the Qur’an, Allah (SWT) says, “And Allah has made for you in your homes an abode.”

Many families are blessed with having their physical needs met on a daily basis. However, Islam is not a self-serving approach to life. We are focused on soul-serving living and each Mu'min longs for an earthly home filled with sakinah (tranquility) and that wich brings us closer to our Creator.
Deep inner peace of mind and heart is called "Sakinah" according to the Qur'an. The Qur'an states that "Sakinah" descends from the sky on to the hearts of true Mu'mineen (Believers). We know true peace of mind is not rooted in the material things of this world and are largely a distraction.
Any person who wishes to be content and experience tranquility must strive at attaining "Sakinah". We must strive hard to develop and recognize the gifts that Allah has given to us. These gifts will enable us to become agents of change within our families. Each person knows his or her family situation best and in a unique position to know what needs to be done within our own relationships and challenges.
Since "Sakinah" comes from Allah alone, it is very important that every effort must be made to please Him. A person asks Allah to grant "Sakinah", and Allah will grant this "Sakinah" to such a person. The way to please Allah is to follow all of His orders, big and small. The more a person becomes obedient, the closer he will be to Allah, increasing peace of mind and happiness of the person. We must make education and acting on our knowledge our lifelong commitment. We must set aside time to read the Quran daily and to remember Allah through Zikr and good deeds.
The only way we can have rich family relationships is through prayer, listening and understanding. One of the primary reasons that we must seek to understand one another is that most of our mistakes are a result of misunderstandings and not wrong intentions. 
Children get much of their sense of security and tranquility from the way their father and mother treat each other; hence, the greatest "thing" we can give is our love and being kind to one another. By building strong marriages, Insha’Allah, we will create a powerful effect on the entire society. 

A Mother's Work is Never Done - A Gift From Our Holy Prophet

Here is a Pearl for anyone who may feel overwhelmed at times with all the responsibilities of caring for a household. Fatima (SA), the apple of the Prophet’s (SAW) eyes toiled with difficulty and to care for her household. One day a slave had been brought to the Prophet (SAW). Her beloved husband told Fatima (SA): “When you go to visit your father ask him for a servant to help you in doing your daily work.” The next day she went to her father, she saw a group of people talking to him. So, she came back without saying anything. The Prophet (SAW) knew that Fatima (SA) had come to his house for a need, so he went to her house and asked her: “Dear Fatima (SA), what did you want?” She remained silent. He asked again and she didn’t say anything. Ali (AS) said: “O Messenger of Allah, I’ll tell you. Fatima (SA) has ground with the mill so much that her hands formed calluses, and drew water from the well so much that the rope marked her chest and she swept the house so much that her clothes became dusty and got the smell of smoke. We heard that some slaves were brought to you. So, I told her to come to you and ask for a servant to help her.” The Prophet (SAW) said: “I’ll teach you something that is much better than a servant you asked for. Recite these praises unto the Lord (after each prayer): Say “Allah-u-Akbar” (Allah is the Greatest) 34 times. Say “Alhamd-u-Lillah” (Praise is for Allah) 33 times. Say “Subhan-Allah” (Glory to Allah) 33 times." The Prophet (SAW) taught his daughter, Fatima (SA), the best lesson, which was the Tasbih. From that time, millions of people have been saying that Tasbih after their prayers. They have been asking the Lord for help via the Tasbih. It is reccomended to teach the Tasbih to our Children. You may want to string your own Tasbih with your family.

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Bread Feeds the Body but, Flowers Feed the Soul

“Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul.”
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)

From time to time - we can get caught up in the busyness of the world around us and forget that we have choice. We can choose to create a nurturing, slower paced childhood and home life for ourselves and our children. We can choose to slow down and reflect on the natural beauty that surrounds us. We can pause in wonderment of a simple vase of flowers or enjoy a small dab of Rose oil before prayer. We can find ways to invite beauty and simple pleasures into our lives. We can make family time a priority.

"Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so that children have very little time for their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of peace of the world." Mother Theresa

Oh, Allah may peace prevail in this home. May our words be gentle, our actions loving, and our ways mindful and may all our deeds be pleasing to You. Amen

Welcome To Joyful Deen

Salam Alaikum & Welcome,

This blog has been developed for Muslim families who are looking for support, ideas, resources, reviews and more from a Muslim Mom's perspective.

In the months to follow.... we hope to add many more useful and inspiring resources and links to enrich your family time and increase your joy - while sharing Islam with your children.

We hope you will find just what you are looking for inshallah!

We welcome your comments and questions.

Peace Be Upon Your Family,
Joyful Muslimah